tabulas.com

the only reason why i can't hate you is that you're too nice.

what na?

i miss you.

is there something wrong?

or am i just overthinking and overanalyzing once again?

hey.

i don't know what to feel anymore. it's weird. i feel glad that i made you happy this morning but at the same time i got really hurt seeing you that happy seeing someone else. i drove you all the way to some strange place at 3am to see someone you really like. you know why i did that. because i love you. this kind of live is not to be classified. i just do. like a mother to a child, a friend to a friend, a guy to his sports car, a body to its soul... i can go on for hours. don't get me wrong, i like seeing you happy. i really do. in fact, i hate it when i see you down. naiinis ako sa mundo. gusto ko lang lahat i stone cold stunner para lang di ka na down. but, alam mo naman, i can't do that. it's really weird where i'm in right now. where i've been since december of last year. i'm rooting for the home team. i'm rooting for you and whatever makes you happy. and i mean WHATEVER makes you happy. pero sa totoo lang napakasakit ng mga things that make you happy. well, napakasakit for me. i try my best to be happy that you are but late at night it starts to hurt me. when i'm alone it starts to hurt me. it's not the same as before. i actually wanted that last one to end because somehow i know its wrong. but hey. society can go to hell. pero basta labo. but this one i actually want. i don't want it to end. because i really do like you. and i don't know how to say it. i don't know if i ever will. kahit alam kong mali na, i still like you. i love you. the reason why i'm saying it all here is because you will never know it's me. ang tapang ko dito. di mo naman kasi mababasa. i don't wanna lose you. you're a great friend. one of my closest. this might just destroy a lot of things. i don't want to lose a friend. i don't want to risk something that is already great. maybe sometime, somewhere, one time, one day or something like that. the right time might actually come for once. but for now all i can do is type and steal glances when you're not looking. all i can do is act like it's all good. my performance must be academy award winning by now. i mean... 10 months going on 11 the moment i post this blog that doesn't exist. what the hell. i still got your back. i'll be watching from the sidelines. still rooting for the home team. i really hope this all goes somewhere. well... sooner or later it will. but when? sorry. labo ng blog.